Extinction Strategies — What They Are and How to Use Them Responsibly

Imagine your child is throwing tantrums every time you say “no” to a snack. It’s exhausting. You’ve tried redirection, giving in, ignoring, and everything in between. One ABA technique that might come up in your child’s therapy plan is called extinction — and while it can be powerful, it must be used responsibly.

Extinction is the process of withholding reinforcement for a previously reinforced behavior. It’s not punishment. It’s simply removing what was maintaining the unwanted behavior — usually, attention or access to something.

What Is Extinction in ABA?

Let’s say a child screams because it results in getting a toy. If you stop giving the toy when the screaming happens, you’re putting that behavior on extinction. The child learns: “Screaming doesn’t work anymore.”

Over time, the behavior decreases and often stops altogether — because it no longer produces the desired outcome.

Common Examples of Extinction

• Attention-maintained behavior: A child throws toys to get a parent’s reaction. The parent stops reacting, and the behavior eventually fades.
• Escape-maintained behavior: A child whines to avoid chores. The parent no longer lets whining lead to escape — only calm behavior results in a break.
• Tangibles-maintained behavior: A child cries at the grocery store for candy. The parent stops giving in and reinforces asking politely instead.

What Is an Extinction Burst?

Here’s where many parents get tripped up. When a behavior first stops being reinforced, it often gets worse before it gets better. This spike is called an extinction burst.

The child thinks: “Screaming used to work — maybe I just need to scream louder.” If you give in during this burst, you’ve taught them that the bigger outburst is the new way to succeed.

Stick with it. Extinction bursts are a normal (if tough) part of the process.

When (and When Not) to Use Extinction

Use extinction when:

• You know exactly what’s reinforcing the behavior
• The behavior is not dangerous
• You can stay consistent

Do NOT use extinction when:

• The behavior is aggressive or harmful
• Multiple reinforcers are involved (e.g., both attention and escape)
• You can’t follow through every time

In these cases, work closely with your BCBA to create a plan that keeps everyone safe.

Extinction + Teaching = Success

Extinction isn’t just about removing reinforcement — it must be paired with teaching a new behavior. If you stop reinforcing tantrums but don’t teach your child a better way to ask for a snack, they’re left frustrated.

Example:

• Stop reinforcing whining for iPad time
• Teach your child to say “iPad, please” or point to a picture card
• Reinforce that new, appropriate request

Tips for Parents

• Prepare for the extinction burst — stay calm and consistent
• Use visuals or scripts to explain what’s expected
• Praise and reward appropriate behaviors
• Work with your ABA team to monitor progress and adjust

Final Thoughts

Extinction can be a game-changer when used wisely. But it’s not about ignoring your child — it’s about teaching them what works better. With support and consistency, you can reduce challenging behaviors while giving your child more effective tools to communicate.

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